Father Husband Best Friend

Christmas with Dad - Jacob's Memories

Christmas was one of Dad's favourite times of year, and I have nothing but good memories of Dad at Christmas. He loved song most of all, and in every Christmas memory I have of him, I can see him smiling at me. 

Advent Wreath

The first memory I have of singing the advent song is when I was around 6, and we lived on Helmcken Street in Victoria. I clearly remember gathering around the wreath - which was on a small rickety wooden table between the dining and living rooms - and singing the advent song and lighting candles. According to mom we adopted this tradition from a church ceremony. We lit one candle each sunday, and I remember the excitement building as we got closer to lighting the white "christ" candle in the middle on Christmas day. He would often, but not always, have his mandolin as we sang. He would give us each a turn lighting the candles, which was handy because there eventually would be four of us and there are four candles around the outside of the wreath. 

Rebekah remembers the words to the advent song as follows:

Light one candle for hope
One bright candle for hope
He brings hope to every heart
He comes, he comes

Woodworking

Dad was an amazing woodworker, one who got better and better with age! When I was quite small both Mom and Dad would make us presents - and Dad's gifts would often be made of wood. When I was bigger he took me to the woodworking shop at the high school and started to teach me how to use each of the machines safely - the router, bandsaw, table saw, and so on. 

One year he took me and invited me to make presents for whoever I wanted, and he would show me how. I would ask "Dad, can we make a sword?" and he would say "sure, it's easy!" then he would show me how. I remember asking if I could learn how to make toy wooden cars and was surprised when he smiled and said "sure, it's easy!" The most amazing thing is he would show me, and then leave me to make them on my own. I remember clearly working with wood and building things for hours, while he worked away in other parts of the shop, and every time he looked over at me he would smile warmly. 

I remember making a wide array of mostly wooden weaponry - the sharpest swords and daggers I could craft. I also made a couple of cars that I thought were the most perfect thing ever. I remember proudly giving away the weapons to friends and family, and then learning after that I think without fail every single one was confiscated by their parents for being too dangerous! In hindsight it was great that Dad didn't criticize or judge my creations, he left me with my impression that they were the best things ever - and I think he was just happy to see me creating, no matter what.

This Christmas season I have been working to pass on this creative spirit and experience to my kids. The kids were thrilled when we made a homemade wreath, but were over the moon when we made homemade swords and daggers yesterday! Noah even requested - on his own volition and in memory of his old wooden cars - to make a wooden car. A photo of his creation is below. Daddeo would be proud!

Getting a Christmas Tree

Every year we lived up in the north we would go out and harvest a Christmas Tree from the forest somewhere. Dad would turn this into a fun adventure, often packing hot chocolate and treats for the road, and when we were bigger he would pull GT racers behind the truck (Jonathan remembers that Dad would never go fast enough!). 

Christmas Tree Prayer

One of the traditions he would practice that made a big impact on me was the prayer of thanks for the tree's life. After selecting a tree, we would gather around and I remember dad putting his hand on the tree, closing his eyes, and leading us in a prayer of thanks for the tree. It instilled a gravity into the ceremony of getting the tree and made me aware that we were in fact taking a life - that of a tree - in order to enjoy a christmas tree. 

The prayer for the tree is something we've continued to practice (in the photos below we bring a small offering for the forest and tree, and say a prayer for the tree - from 2014).

Creative Christmas Dinners

Truth be told I don't think that turkey was a sacred part of Christmas for Dad. One Christmas, when we were living in 2-Mile (part of the Hazeltons, and as I recall Dad), through some process that involved us kids, decided to make bombastic homemade burgers and fries for Christmas dinner. Us kids were thrilled - we LOVED homemade burgers and fries! Our visiting family were far less than thrilled (and went out to a restaurant for a "real" christmas dinner later that week).

I also remember dad 'experimenting' with different parts of Christmas dinners. He didn't settle for the tried and true ancient recipes - everything was up for "improvement!" 

Singing Carols

Dad was a singer, and he loved to sing Christmas carols. My favourite was "drummer boy" and I remember going caroling in Victoria when I was about 3 or 4, banging on a plastic drum and dad smiling lovingly at me, which only encouraged me to drum more. I am quite sure I was drumming way out of time and probably singing out of key, but I dad never let me know. One christmas he asked me to sing Drummer Boy in front of family and friends at Christmas. I remember standing up on the couch, and dad sat beside me strumming his mandolin and smiling at me. I suddenly got stage fright and couldn't sing. Dad just kept patiently strumming and told me to take my time.

When I was a teenager I remember Dad would go off on his own to sing for homeless and low income people at christmas dinners. He'd leave with his mandolin and then come back home smiling. 

Today we carol, although this year we didn't get organized enough to do it on our street. It is a favourite memory for our kids and I hope to pick it up again next year. This year we will be caroling at home, singing off dad's songbook that he left (forgot?) here after one of his visits.

Christmas Cake

Dad started baking christmas cakes when I was a kid. As an adult he would bake cakes and send us a few, one for us and a couple for "the marshalls" in Old Hazelton that we would deliver. I never much liked Christmas cake as a kid, especially Dad's. It was strong flavoured. As an adult I thought I'd give his Christmas Cake another crack and wow - I liked it! I seem to recall eating it all pretty much on my own last year. I always thought the Marshall connection was simply dad keeping in touch with old friends, but I learned a little more about it this month.

We were down in Old Hazelton for the Christmas celebration, and Laura Marshall stopped to give me a hug and condolences. "Well I guess no Christmas cake this year, hey?" she said "unless you're going to make it?" and smiled at me. I laughed "well, I don't have the recipe. He never shared it with me." She pulled back a bit and smiled more "he got that recipe from my mother! I have it, would you like it?" All of a sudden it made perfect sense - I could imagine Dad over at their house many years ago, heartily eating a richly flavoured Christmas cake that is too strong for most people, and declaring it the best cake he'd ever had and asking for the recipe. I can imagine a deal being made - the recipe in exchange for one of the cakes - and then dad keeping his end of the bargain even when he moved away. 

Laura said "you know, I think he made it even better than my mother." What a compliment! A day or two later, a vehicle pulled up while I was clearing snow from our driveway, and Laura gave me a bag, and wished my and my family and siblings a merry Christmas. In the bag was a Christmas Cake and her mother's recipe.

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas! To carry on some of Dad's spirit at Christmas this year, consider:

• Singing a lot - even if offbeat or out of tune!
• Giving generously to those who need some extra love this time of year
• Say a prayer of thanks to your tree - or to those who made it if it's plastic
• Get creative and make a gift for someone rather than buying
• Spice up those old recipes that could use just a bit of something creative

Hugs!