It was 1am Friday night, or rather Saturday morning, and the four of us "kids" were still up, grappling with Dad's Eulogy. We were giving the extra rough draft a first audition, reading it out loud and collaborating on it as we went. We were exhausted, and we got to the part about how many of us kids there were, and Rebekah cracked a joke about how only her and I were planned - and we all started laughing. We kept reading and all of a sudden we saw the incredible humour in being excommunicated in High Level, of Dad finding us a cheap place to live in an abandoned log house in the middle of nowhere, and of the always breaking down Volkswagons. We laughed so hard we couldn't talk. We laughed so hard we couldn't sit up anymore. It was the first time I remember laughing since Dad died, and it was the medicine we needed at the time.
We drove up island together for perhaps the first time in many years, one of us drove and the other three rehearsed. We stopped at one of Dad's Serious Coffee stops, and then dropped by a dollar store for some trademark cheap sunglasses. We were really hoping to find some gaudy neon glasses like the kind Dad used to wear, but had to settle for gaudy party glasses instead. We also packed some of his favourite old t-shirts and we thought he'd be happy with us honouring him in this way. Sophia remembered Dad saying "when I die I don't want black at my funeral, I want bright colours!"
We put our trust in each other and the process and the Eulogy went off better than I had hoped - by far. Some were surprised and ultimately thankful that we addressed his struggles in the Eulogy. We believe that the miracles of life are richer when you are connected to pain and process of getting there. I remarked afterward that Dad had turned his crap in life to compost, and managed to grow a wonderful garden of flowers... and knowing that makes the flowers all the sweeter.
We were all very surprised to get the standing ovation. Wow! It felt like a wonderful confirmation of Dad and a lifting up of us. Thank you to everyone who came and supported us. I am happy to provide you a copy here of the Eulogy we wrote, exactly as we prepared it on Saturday.
You can click here to view it in Google Docs, I have also attached it as a PDF.
Warmly, -Jacob
The "Kids"
Jacob, 35, married to Jessica and with two sons Noah and Ezra
Rebekah 33, engaged to Kevin
Jonathan 31, engaged to Tara
Sophia 29, married to Russell and with two daughters Blanche (in the photo above) and Amelia
Thanks to Mom for helping with some of our dates and fact-checking, and for the photos of our rehearsal at the Church.
