Dad died on Thursday night. On Friday I headed over to the island to join my brother Jonathan, Rebekah joined later Friday and Sophia arrived Saturday night. Yesterday (Sunday) all four of us kids drove up to join Marny, on the anniversary of her and Dad's wedding, of all days.
Walking in one of the first things we saw was Dad's mandolin, laying on the chair as if waiting for him to walk in any minute, pick it up and sit down. We've all been in a haze since he died and yesterday was some more of the same as it felt like shuffling with a big lump in my throat from one memory to another. We all cried again but honestly after so much crying it became more of a slow stream of tears.
Friends of Dad and Marny were there and dropped by throughout the afternoon. Queen bee came by and brought extra chairs and a patio umbrella for the kids. We sat down on the deck dad built, under the wood beams he bought straight from the mill "to save a few bucks," enjoyed his lawn and garden and got down to the business of planning his funeral.
It turns out there is not much worse than trying to cope with a sudden, unexpected, untimely death of someone so dearly loved. We are truly blessed to be surrounded by loving family and friends. Dad was at peace in his last few years and we are all so happy that he and Marny found each other. It was comforting to be sitting beside Marny as we went through the rough sketch agenda we threw together and started planning a goodbye process that would honour Dad's spirit and memory.
At my request Marny brought out Dad's bible and us kids thumbed through Psalms and found our favourites. When we were little Dad and Mom would sing Psalms as we drove long distances in the car. Listening them sing while I looked at the stars through the window is one of my favourite childhood memories. At Dad and Marny's we sang together - all four kids - and this was one of my favourite moments of the day.
It is too bad that we only seem to all come together for weddings and funerals, but we're determined to make the best of this time together. Dad was a wonderful, incredibly loving being and we're going to do our best to remember him in the best ways this week. Thank you everyone for all your love - and support - it is helping to hold us up in this difficult time.
Jacob
This is my old bike - which dad has kept operational since I was about 8
The daddy-wagon - which dad made for me many many years ago
The old truck that he loved so much
So much as he left it
One of the spaces he created and where we met on sunday to plan
His mandolin